Couple Therapy Archives - Prestwich Holistic Centre

14 April 20228 August 2022Couple Therapy

How to Talk So You Will be Heard

In the last 1-minute Relationship Snippet, we mentioned that listening is an art and can benefit your relationship connection immensely. Equally as important as good listening is how you speak and what you say. The following are some suggestions when talking… Try sharing without any shaming blaming or criticising. Try sharing using ‘I’ language rather than ‘you’ e.g. ‘I feel close to you when…’ Try sharing without generalisations such as ‘you always’ or ‘you never’. Try sharing as many appreciations as possible especially before sharing any frustrations Try keeping any frustrations short and sweet, being mindful that it is challenging to listen. Try appreciating your partner after they listen to you. Try Read More

28 March 20223 July 2022Counselling, Couple Therapy

Is There More?

Is There More? As mentioned previously, listening is an art and can benefit your relationship connection immensely. A great question to ask your partner or spouse when you are listening, is ‘Is there more?’…and of course to really mean it! A very simple three-word question that shows you are interested and happy to listen to whatever else your other half would like to share. A suggestion when listening… Try listening with an open heart Try listening without judgement Try listening without planning your response Try listening to completely understand the other Try asking ‘Is there more?’ when the other person has finished speaking Try it out with the people in Read More

17 March 20223 July 2022Counselling, Couple Therapy

You are Living with an Iceberg

You are Living with an Iceberg Your spouse or partner is an iceberg! This does not mean that they are cold and unfeeling! Rather it refers to the fact that just as you only see 1/10th of an iceberg above the water, so too when looking at another human being, you only see the surface level. Just like there is so much more to an iceberg than what you can see with your eye, so too, there is so much depth and more than meets the eye when interacting with others. Lessons we can apply from an iceberg to our partner: Read More

14 March 202211 March 2022Couple Therapy, Mindfulness Meditation

The Story I Tell Myself

The Story I Tell Myself “He obviously does not care about me because if he did then he would contact me more often during the day”. This, or something similar, is a common frustration I may hear in my therapy office when working with a couple. At this point, I may pause the couple and invite the one sharing to rephrase that sentence starting with, ‘The story I tell myself is that…he obviously does not care about me…etc’. It may be true that he does not care or it may not be true at all or perhaps partly true. I invite couples to be Read More

11 March 202211 March 2022Counselling, Couple Therapy

Detox Your Relationship – The Zero Negativity Challenge

Detox Your Relationship – The Zero Negativity Challenge As you probably know, negativity is corrosive to any relationship. Negativity is any transaction your partner experiences as a ‘put down’. If they say it was negative, then trust that for whatever reason it was negative! Don’t try and explain your actions but listen to what their experience is. Examples of negativity include: tone of voice, an eye roll, silence, criticism, shame, blame, deflection, disempowering, accusations, and contempt. Negativity is any interaction that is experienced as devaluing or negating. Achieving and maintaining a ‘zero negativity state’ is essential in a Conscious Couple Relationship. Read More

8 March 202210 July 2022Counselling, Couple Therapy

Are you a Tiger or a Tortoise!

Are you a Tiger or a Tortoise! In most couple relationships, there is often a tiger and a tortoise! Very rarely do I come across two tortoises but on occasion, there may be two tigers. The partner who is ‘tiger-like’ tends to be the louder, noisier one who will get angry, shout, scream, nag, cling and blame when feeling hurt or upset. The partner who is more ‘tortoise-like’ tends to withdraw, go quiet, avoid talking and generally retreat when feeling hurt, upset or angry. Sound familiar!? When I explain about the tiger and tortoise this is normally received with smiles and knowing Read More

5 March 202210 July 2022Counselling, Couple Therapy

Valentine’s Day: A Happy or Sad Day? (Free Give-Away)

I hope Valentine’s Day is a happy day for you (& your partner or spouse if you are in a relationship)…but for many individuals and couples, it may not be. This is because…not everyone has a partner and even if you are in a relationship, it may not be as you wish it to be. A few thoughts: It is normal for relationships to go through stages. The ‘Honeymoon Phase’ rarely lasts more than six months to 3 years. After this most couples encounter the very painful ‘Power Struggle’ Phase where there may be more arguments, withdrawal, less fun and feeling less Read More