Author: Gary Janit

Counselling, Couple Therapy

You are Living with an Iceberg

You are Living with an Iceberg - an image of an iceberg

    You are Living with an Iceberg Your spouse or partner is an iceberg! This does not mean that they are cold and unfeeling! Rather it refers to the fact that just as you only see 1/10th of an iceberg above the water, so too when looking at another human being, you only see the surface level. Just like there is so much more to an iceberg than what you can see with your eye, so too, there is so much depth and more than meets the eye when interacting with others. Lessons we can apply from an iceberg to our partner: Read More

Healthy Living

The Tortoise and the Hare…How to Succeed?

the hare

The Tortoise and the Hare…How to Succeed? Most of us remember the famous childhood story of the tortoise and the hare where the tortoise continues to move very slowly but without stopping and finally it wins the race. The moral lesson of the story is that you can be more successful by doing things slowly and steadily rather than by acting quickly and carelessly.   What Can We Learn from the Tortoise & the Hare? Lesson 1: Slow and steady wins the race. This statement has been used multiple times throughout my life and probably yours, but it has so much truth. .. Lesson Read More

Mindfulness Meditation

How Do You Respond to Rain? The Power of Acceptance

acceptance

How do you respond to rain? The Power of Acceptance   It rains a lot in Manchester, where I live. There are two choices about how to respond and react when it is raining:   Option 1 would be the following thoughts: “I don’t like rain. I wish it was not raining and then my day would be better! My day is now ruined. It is so horrible this long dark winter. Why am I living here? I can’t exercise because its such bad weather. When will spring arrive? My mood can’t improve until then.   Option 2: “Yup, it’s raining”.   Which Read More

Couple Therapy, Mindfulness Meditation

The Story I Tell Myself

what is your story

The Story I Tell Myself   “He obviously does not care about me because if he did then he would contact me more often during the day”. This, or something similar, is a common frustration I may hear in my therapy office when working with a couple.   At this point, I may pause the couple and invite the one sharing to rephrase that sentence starting with, ‘The story I tell myself is that…he obviously does not care about me…etc’. It may be true that he does not care or it may not be true at all or perhaps partly true. I invite couples to be Read More

Healthy Living, Mindfulness Meditation

The Magic Of Gratitude

magic of gratitude

  A book came out a few years ago, called ‘The Magic’ and it was all about Gratitude… …specifically, how Gratitude can have a magical effect on one’s life!   If there is an opposite of gratitude, it might be complaining and negativity which as we all know, makes us feel worse.   Gratitude is an essential mindset for general emotional well-being. There are so many advantages regarding gratitude and appreciation…especially true when it comes to appreciating one’s own body and health.   Many of us may not look favourably upon ourselves, especially regarding how we look. Due to media pressure and fashion icons, Read More

Healthy Living

What do you think?

new logo

What do you think of my new logo? Designed by myself, my wife and my daughters.   It captures everything that I am passionate about…Whole-Person, Balanced, Holistic Living. When balance is achieved (as much as possible) in all four areas (puzzle pieces), then it allows our innate well-being to rise to the surface. Whole-Person Well-Being: This is the overall sense of joyful & calm being, represented by the flourishing blossoming tree. Efforts to bring balance and alignment into the various outer dimensions (emotional, physical, relationship & spiritual) lead to this overall sense of wholeness and well-being.   Emotional Health is an important part of overall health and refers Read More

Counselling, Couple Therapy

Detox Your Relationship – The Zero Negativity Challenge

zero negativity

Detox Your Relationship – The Zero Negativity Challenge As you probably know, negativity is corrosive to any relationship.   Negativity is any transaction your partner experiences as a ‘put down’.   If they say it was negative, then trust that for whatever reason it was negative! Don’t try and explain your actions but listen to what their experience is.   Examples of negativity include: tone of voice, an eye roll, silence, criticism, shame, blame, deflection, disempowering, accusations, and contempt.   Negativity is any interaction that is experienced as devaluing or negating.   Achieving and maintaining a ‘zero negativity state’ is essential in a Conscious Couple Relationship. Read More

Healthy Living, Mindfulness Meditation

The Awesome Power of Affirmations

The Awesome Power of Affirmations   Guess what…we use affirmations all the time…   We are constantly thinking and telling ourselves a story…   Much of our thinking is automatic and unfortunately quite negative…worries, planning, rumination, dwelling and self-critical thinking.   Given that thoughts are powerful, why not take a little time to focus on how you would like life to be.   Hence…Affirmations.   “Daily affirmations offer a constant reminder of what you’re capable of and what you deserve. Staying focused on your wants and desires can help turn those ideals into reality.” ( Institute For Integrative Nutrition ) Try out the following Read More

Healthy Living

The Best Medicine Lifestyle

Life balance choices signpost, with sunrise

The Best Medicine Lifestyle   What is the best medicine?   Many believe it is a good simple healthy balanced lifestyle!   If you get this right, then many physical and emotional difficulties are minimised! In fact, with most of my clients, before we even begin focusing on the specific problem they have, we make sure to do as much as possible to make sure their life is as balanced as possible (not perfect, but just in better balance).   The British Society of Lifestyle Medicine is a group of professionals that believe that Lifestyle medicine can improve the health and wellbeing of individuals and Read More

Counselling, Couple Therapy

Are you a Tiger or a Tortoise!

Couple Arguing

Are you a Tiger or a Tortoise!   In most couple relationships, there is often a tiger and a tortoise! Very rarely do I come across two tortoises but on occasion, there may be two tigers.   The partner who is ‘tiger-like’ tends to be the louder, noisier one who will get angry, shout, scream, nag, cling and blame when feeling hurt or upset. The partner who is more ‘tortoise-like’ tends to withdraw, go quiet, avoid talking and generally retreat when feeling hurt, upset or angry.   Sound familiar!?   When I explain about the tiger and tortoise this is normally received with smiles and knowing Read More